you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
