barbara walters just said penis...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
