For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
