just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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