try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
