I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
