Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
