im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just want to make out with him forever
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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