My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
