he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
