member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
