i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
