I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I need water and some morals
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize