I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
