Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize