after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
