Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
