just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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