Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'd cum for enchiladas.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
