Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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