Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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