Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
