So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
