We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
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