THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
