just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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