I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
