Im at strip club and am horny
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
