Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
