No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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