The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
