whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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