My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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