...so i touched it.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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