Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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