I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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