Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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