I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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