The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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