Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
