my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
