guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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