That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
