Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
