So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i think i just lost a toe
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
