how can u be prego again
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.