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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.

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• (631): View more from New York

  do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?

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  19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?

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• (818): View more from California

  idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations

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  21 Worst Confessions on a First Date

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says

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