My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?