Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.

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(480): View more from Arizona

hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(530): View more from California

Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.

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(541): View more from Oregon

When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.

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(480): View more from Arizona

All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?

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