..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.