smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work