I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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