I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
