I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
