By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
