ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
