I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
