After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My vagina just recognized that song.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
