return my video game
Operation Purity has been aborted
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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