I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
