the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
