Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
