Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
