I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
