Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
