For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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