Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
