I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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