I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
