38 yer olds are good kisserssss
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
