We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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