She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
