You made me cry and you don't even care
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
